Why Sex Therapy Isn’t Just About Sex: Exploring Meaning, Connection, and the Self
“Sex” and “Therapy” are scary words for many. Hearing them often makes you laugh, feel embarrassed, or a little uncomfortable.
After all, our emotions and sex are intertwined intimately. Sharing our feelings with another person, such as a therapist, and revealing our sexual selves with a partner are two of the most vulnerable things a human can do.
However, often people do not connect these dots. Clients often come to my practice because they want to improve their sexual satisfaction, but don’t anticipate that sex is just the surface. Sex therapy isn’t really just about sex. It’s about connecting with our deepest worries, anxieties, and emotions so we can share our full humanity with ourselves and others, deepening our pleasure, meaning, and authenticity in shared or solo moments.
In this post, we will talk about what sex therapy is, and how it can help you in areas of your life inside and outside of the bedroom.
What is Sex Therapy?
Sex therapy is a form of talk therapy that focuses on your sexual health. By focusing on the emotional, psychological, interpersonal, and physical aspects of sexual well-being and relationships, it can help you see how your sexuality and sexual health impacts other areas of your life.
There are different approaches to sex therapy, and I blend Gestalt Therapy, Narrative therapy, Emotion-Focused therapy, Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), and Existential Humanistic approaches to help clients connect to their sexual selves, reconnect with their partners, and foster self-exploration and discovery. You can see more about my approach here.
Who is Sex Therapy For?
Sex therapy is for all adults (18+) regardless of your sexual orientation, relationship structure, or gender. It is open to couples and also individuals looking to understand themselves more expansively.
So.. What Can Sex Therapy Help With?
Many people assume sex therapy is only for “serious problems” or crises. But the truth is, it can support a wide range of concerns. You certainly don’t need to be in a huge amount of distress to benefit from talking about your sexual self.
Some of the most common concerns include:
Sexual self-esteem and performance pressure: anxiety related to performance, unrealistic expectations, and self-doubt.
Women’s sexual wellness: sexual pain (dyspareunia), low desire and difficulty with arousal or reaching orgasm
Recovery from sexual trauma or abuse
Couples and relationship work: desire discrepancies, infidelity, sexual communication and consent, and exploring consensual non-monogamy.
LGBTQIA+ sexual health concerns: identity exploration, relationship dynamics in queer partnerships, and challenges often faced in seeking affirming support.
Sexual exploration and pleasure enhancement: exploring new ways to experience pleasure, deepening body awareness, and exploring fantasies or curiosity in a safe and consensual space.
Quite a lot of clients don’t initially come to therapy for sexual concerns, but through the process they start to open up about their struggles around sex. While some clients seek therapy with me because of a sex-related issue, over time they realise deeper threads of trauma, attachment wounds, or relational history that shape their sexual self.
Whatever the entry point, sex therapy meets you there with honesty and compassion. Sexual wellness should be an essential part of your overall well-being.
And What Can It Help With… Beyond Sex?
Sex therapy isn’t just about improving function—it’s also about how we make sense of function, change, and loss. Often our sexual health concerns arise because there is a disconnect or barrier between ourselves and the sexual moment we are trying to experience. Sometimes, clients come in hoping to “fix” something, but as the therapy progresses, they realize what truly brings healing is not regaining control. Instead, it’s understanding and the courage to be curious.
Questions we can ask ourselves during sex therapy are:
What does it mean when sex feels different from what it used to?
What happens when spontaneity no longer feels possible, or when pain, aging, or illness shift how we experience intimacy?
What does it mean to stay connected to ourselves and others, when things don't go back to how they were?
Sex therapy does open up spaces for these deeper questions. Sometimes, it won’t get “better” in the way we first hoped. But that doesn’t mean there isn’t meaning, beauty, or connection still possible.
Through this process, you might find:
A renewed sense of sexual self-esteem and self-compassion
A gentler relationship with your body, even when it changes
A fuller acceptance of desire in its many forms
The courage to speak about what hurts and what matters
The clarity to name what you want—and to mourn what you no longer can
A new vision of intimacy built not on performance, but on presence
How to Get Started
If you would like to explore yourself more for deeper connections, you can organize a free 15-minute consultation call to see if we are a good fit. I am currently accepting new clients for virtual therapy sessions between 12-5pm across the state of Maryland.
Ready to take the next step? You can also fill out the form to start your therapy journey today.
I am excited to hear from and work with you.
